March 22, 2013;

We all get one chance at life, just one.  What do we want from it.  What do we hope to experience for ourselves as we journey down our path.  How high are our expectations and should we lower them, will that make us happy or will we always wonder what if we hadn't compromised, what if we had reached that little extra that is always there.  What if we didn't allow our hearts to drag us into relationships that are unhealthy just because that person made our heart skip a beat.  What if we had the courage to leave it especially if we know that person will never do the right thing by us. 

One thing is for sure you will never know unless you try, you'll never know if it gets any better than this unless you give it a shot.  It's lonely when you do, horribly lonely, the journey is made for one person many times and it takes trusting God to go it alone for a long time.  When I was very young my aunt gave me a t shirt that said you will kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.  It's a stupid saying but it fits.  Some frogs even look like princes, act like princes and some taste like princes, but unlike the Berenstein Bears, they're not princes. 

Everybody has their opinion of what I should be doing, how I should be doing it, who I should be talking to and by the way why are you alone?  I can't answer that question I don't really know the answer.  I know I met what I believed to be a genuine prince but my judgment is off....still. 

There are a lot of uncertainties but God gives direction one day at a time and I have to walk that out.  One conversation at a time one direction at a time, he won't reveal the whole picture to me.  That is so frustrating to me if I had the whole picture I would start to work it, he probably knows that about me so he only gives me the grace for the day.  It's hard to walk out my faith this way I always wanted a plan and I wanted God to tell me everything.....He likes to tell me one thing just when it's happening or illumine me after it happened just so I know it was him...I had nothing to do with it. 

One thing I know I want to have it all.  I don't know how to get it but I know that having it all means to surrender everything to Him allowing him to do what he wants.  That is the most exciting adventure.

Meanwhile, my kids are crazy but they're getting better.  There are still those few people that want to do harm but God will deal with them.  We can't be bothered with things that are meant to take our focus off the important issues.