September 24, 2013;

No matter how hard you may try to influence your children apparently they have minds of their own.  Influenced by various outside factors as well as those inside factors that have been implanted by experience, family and friends.  These experiences may be either positive or negative and will enhance the child's life or take away from the quality of it by leaving scars that may stay for a very long time. 

Watching your adult children make choices that affect their lives in both positive and negative ways is frustrating to say the least.  I love the comment of theirs, "But Mom, YOU did it", yes I did and that's why I can tell you the zillion reasons why you shouldn't.  I can tell you from the beginning to the end what is going to happen to you as a result of the choices you will make and how they will leave you feeling and for how long.  And yet with all of that, they walk away with their noses in the air charging into the future to make those choices they weren't allowed to make before, because they were not old enough to screw up their lives without my permission. 

And yet no one told me how I would begin to age, not because of the years, but because of the worry and the fret over them.  One older person told me years ago, it's easy when they are young, then you should work.  But when they are older, you should be home and never let them out of your sight.  Oh how true.  And yet I was there and I watched them and fought with them and prayed over them.  So they waited until they were adults to really go for it.  My oldest told me "okay Mom, I'm eighteen I can have a baby if I want to now".  Mind you she wasn't married, she just wanted a baby.  Makes perfect sense I suppose if you've recently suffered brain damage to the frontal lobe. 

So I pray and I read and I wonder if I'm perfect will they live better lives.  If I excel and do everything right and they see it's a good thing, will they follow in my footsteps?  No!  Who would want to I work my ass off.  I do homework at night and shortly I will begin an internship while I continue working. But.........what if I made the decision to throw it all up to God and let Him do the work???

Well the Bible says in Isaiah that we will live in homes we didn't build we will have vineyards we didn't plant.  It sounds as though the Lord will bring us into an inheritance that we didn't work for.  So why am I working so hard.........I have no idea.  Joseph Prince talks about Grace and Receiving.  I think I have worked hard enough trying to show my kids how to live I believe now I would do well to turn it all over to Him and receive his Grace and Goodness and let Him show them how good He is!  And by the way the Bible also says to be anxious for nothing but in everything give thanks and make your requests known to God and let the peace of God that passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  I will tell you that sounds good because I'm about to lose my mind and my heart hurts all the time.  He is faithful it's time for me to quit worrying and remember He's their Father too, He has control of it all and He will prosper us and keep us.