September 4, 2013;

Well sometimes I wonder if I say everything that goes on my life if someone would find me and commit me.........forever.  Probably.  Well on the bright side I began my dissertation process and I think I'd rather be throwing up.  I'm not even sure what made me think I could do it, breathe......breathe......

Sometimes when you help your kids it's so exhausting you wish they would finally get happy and get out.  I finally realize that they are going to have their ups and downs and be all over the place but that's okay God has complete control, he has a plan for them as well as for me.  I'm finding that prayer changes everything and those things that seem so big like they're going to swallow everything he turns into nothing.  Even when the girls are mad and things get so intense God just moves his hand and changes the course of it all. 

Today I'm calm, last week I had to call the police on one of my daughters to have her removed from my house.  She was so offended, but she wasn't going to go home if I didn't.  I believe after that she went back on her meds and is improved, she won't talk to me still so I'm not exactly sure but all indications show she is doing well. 

I believe God is showing me how to stay calm and quiet through the storms and how when the girls become so angry, they are really those dust tornados I grew up watching in the desert.  One minute they're blowing so hard they look like a cyclone and then Poof! they're gone like they were never there.  That's how the girls argue.  As long as I don't interfere one bit, it just goes Poof!  I finally had to tell them I was tired of all the negative conversation and back biting.  You would have thought they were each other's worst enemy.  It took several weeks and then finally things began to quiet down.  We'll see how long it lasts.