November 21, 2013

I took a walk in the park one night and then everything changed.  The park was full of people walking and enjoying the weather I was listening to my praise and worship music and enjoying the time alone and the people walking.  It was such a nice evening and it felt like God just opened up the Heavens and I could feel the presence of all the angels and Him talking in my ear.....and all he said was that everything was fine He had taken care of everything, it was already done just enjoy....

The next day was wonderful and quiet but the day after that everything changed.  Suddenly.....I had my chair person and my committee person for my dissertation, they had been approved by the research center and they automatically registered me in my dissertation courses.  If that wasn't enough I went to a job interview and she hired me on the spot for a crisis intervention specialist...with a car, an office and I could still keep my other job since I was a week on and a week off all paid.  I couldn't believe it.  Everything changed and I had nothing to do with it except I showed up. 

I have no advice about how to make things happen I have no reason that all of it fell into place except that God is faithful and he doesn't lie in his Word.  What He says in his Word he will do.  Of course we have to plant some seeds, like applying to the dissertation program and of course applying for the job months before.....but He opens doors no man can close and he closes doors no man can open. 

Of course I'm still praying for my daughters and I continually pray for my grandchildren.  There are loose ends but He'll take care of them all. 

Isn't it funny how you can interview in some places and you just know you don't want to be there.  There's nothing about the interview, the people or the place that confirms anything except the feeling that you can't leave soon enough.  I've had those interviews repeatedly with people who were less than desirable on any level.  That was not the case when I walked in to this behavioral health center.  I was comfortable, I liked the woman I interviewed with, I liked the surroundings, I liked everything about it and I felt an excitement screaming in me that said let's get to work!

My dissertation process was the same way, I couldn't make it happen.  I had chosen a gentleman to be my mentor months ago, but somehow at the right time he is no longer available.  So, I began looking and I honestly didn't know what I was going to do or who was going to accept the request.  All of my classmates were going through the same process and the clock was ticking.  As it turned out I was the only one in my class to get a chair (mentor), a committee member, accepted into the program and registered before the class was over.  And I couldn't have made it happen no matter how much I tried.  Someone said well Cindy it's because you're smart.  Every person in that doctoral class was smart and they all had wonderful projects going for them, God just showed favor because He's faithful not because of anything to do with me and I am so grateful!

Have you ever thought that the process of trying and working towards something, the struggle of it is the thing we get wrapped up in.  I don't even think we really believe the work will pay off or that God's promises are true, but we just keep trying and pleading.  Then....when it happens and you had nothing to do with it you're in complete shock that something wonderful can actually happen to you?  We actually learn to live in the struggle like that's where we're supposed to live just struggling and trying and believing without anything happening?  I did.  I didn't even think it would happen and yet in my unbelief God still blessed me, He honored his Word and blessed me.  Did you know that good things are supposed to happen to us all the time?  They are, but I never really thought so.  I was so surprised I cried all the way home in gratefulness.  We are not to live in fear we are to live in expectancy of good, I think that's very hard to do but I think I'm going to work very hard at receiving and trusting.