March 5, 2013

We all have parents.  I'll just start there, for some of us that's a good thing they are supportive, nurturing, loving and rock solid.  Now the real world or at least my world.

I have a parent, I have spent my life trying to not have a parent especially not that one, but I do.  I grew up with screaming and yelling and disappearing acts and so many other things.  One of my earliest memories is being in my grandparents livingroom watching the Ed Sullivan show when my mother and her fiancee' (who knows really) walk in from the kitchen.  Was that my mother???  Her hair was platinum, what's platinum hair? Who does that?  She looks wierd and whats she wearing?  A light blue skirt suit? With a fur collar?  Man she looks wierd.  What's wrong with her hair??  I'm 53 and I can still see that hair, maan. 

And beside her, who is that?  He looks wierder than she does, he's gross!  Good they're leaving, I don't know where or for how long but good I want to watch TV!  That was the second time.  There were many others, we made a move down to a rural town, my grandmother said there might be bugs crawling on the walls and there were but that's another story.  My mother had many boyfriends, husbands, whatever, they were a blur, some I knew, some I didn't.  I was raised mostly with my grandparents, and again that's another story. (I have many many stories).  Back in the sixties there were many disorders that went untreated and undiagnosed.  My mother was at the top of the list, that woman, even now I'm not quite sure, you can say Bipolar schizoid affective, Borderline personality disorder or really I prefer demonic possession from the pit of hell, straight evil no exorcism strong enough, that'd be my diagnosis.  She's not someone you'd put in a retirement home, it wouldn't be fair to the other residents, things, people might come up missing.  No she needs to stay in her apartment.  They'll have  to burn it down when she's gone but renovation is good. 

Anyway, my mother has quit working, she lives in a small apartment and comes to my house everyday to have coffee, vaccum, do laundry (none of which I have asked for, but okay).  She likes to hang out, sometimes we'll garden but mostly it's coffee and I cook her breakfast.  She's in her late seventies, but I think she thinks she's 90.  Sooo...today I came home to the blind in the kitchen being off the strings that pull it up.  I've had the blinds for a long time and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with them.  I called my youngest and asked her what happened.  She had no idea.  Sooo....I called my mother (Oh God).  I had my granddaughter in the kitchen with me and she's just giggling.  They call her babygrandma, I don't know why.  She's short is all I can figure, but that's what they call her.  And she's mean, meaner than hell!  Doesn't like all the mess the grandkids make, doesn't like the way the girls (my three daughters) act sometimes.  Like they act good, I have to laugh at that sometimes. They're independent, not the submissive types I'm afraid, but they're fun.   

Mom, what happened to the blind, did you break the blind somehow?  Uhh yes  I don't know what happened it just broke but I think you just need to thread it through.  I can see that mom why did you pull all the string out??? And then why didn't you tell me????  And here it finally came, WEEELLLLLLL????????  Now I'm a 53 year old woman in her 2nd year of her doctorate in psychology.  I have talked with parents, women of all ages, counseled young women, taught children, but this????   A WEELLLLLLL with the whiniest drawn out voice?  I got nothin.  I said bye and hung up.  My granddaughter, whose sitting in the kitchen with me gives it up, laughing and laughing.  Finally she says nama (that's what they call me ughhh) next time I get in trouble that's what I'm gonna say.

Needless to say we worked together to fix the blind, I'm trying to keep my temper, I said trying that's all I could do was to try.  My granddaughter's watching and I want to kill my mother so I'd better calm down, all the while, she's saying WEELLLLL Nama.