January 10, 2014;


Funny how life is....now I'm referring women over to the company I work with for services.  A young woman I know just had her children removed from her home because of her drug use.  My heart breaks for these young women in trouble and I'm beginning to believe that I'm supposed to start a celebrate recovery group for women.  I started sending books, quite a few into the jail for women I figure, why not, they can circulate them around.  Maybe I'll contribute to their library. 


Today I saw a child who has had to deal with so much she said she doesn't feel sad or happy any more.  My heart broke for her.  I heard a woman talk about meth today.  She said it was so seductive at first, like it met the needs she has as a person.  She had low self esteem and felt like she wasn't worth anything.  She said she felt like she couldn't do anything.  Then she tried meth and it was euphoric for her.  She felt like she could do anything, she felt pretty and invincible......and there is the lie.  It's like it speaks directly to the hole in your heart telling you lies until it has you hooked and you can't get out.  Then it takes you down this road where you will do anything to just get high, you'll become scandalous, you'll steal because after all you can't get caught.  You'll lie because no one will know.  And you're so thin.  Meanwhile it's killing you and your family. 


I see a child who loves the person she calls mommy.  She thinks mommy is the person who takes care of her and feeds her and loves her and would never do anything to hurt her or jeopardize their life together.  She loves that mommy and every time she holds mommy that's the mommy she holds.  Meanwhile, the real mommy is the one who never really did have her head on straight.  She never felt loved or wanted and she never felt good about herself.  And really she never felt like she could take care of the child alone so she always looked for someone to take care of her, dragging her child into situations.  Finally, she failed miserably.  The baby's heart is broken but she still waits for her mommy and really I don't know for how long.