January 7, 2014;


I watched the coolest video about a women who spent years in and out of prison for prostitution and various drug charges and I mean most of her adolescent and her adulthood into her late thirties only to finally come out and change her life.  She was raped at the age of four, her mother gave her to her adult male friends and from there her story unfolded.  Now she speaks in women's prisons giving them hope.  I had never heard or seen anything like her before and I was completely awestruck with what God can do with someone's life when everyone has written you off. 


Then to make it even closer to home I got to listen to a woman's story that works with me.  She was a drug addict and a mental health patient for years living on the streets and through her relationship with Jesus she is a completely different person.  I was so impressed with these women I was in awe of what God did in real life people.  What stories of His goodness. 


I think the thing that impacted me about both women was the support of older women behind them who loved and prayed for them during the whole process.  Older aunts and a grandmother who stood in prayer for these ladies while it looked hopeless never giving up.  And now look what God has done!!!!!


The new job I took as a crisis clinician is allowing me to see things I have never seen before both good and bad, before and after.  It fills my heart with such overwhelming hurt for these women and actually for families in general.  I know that while we are doing what we want to do or we're going through horrific personal tragedy and conflict, we don't realize that our significant others, our families suffer with us.  They hurt for us and with us.  In my case I hurt for my daughter and I feel as though I'm going through everything with her.  I never realized what some parents go through.  I definitely didn't realize what other women could possibly be going through. 


I have to remember that God doesn't show us things without a reason, he brings us to places in our lives for reasons.  So while he marches this parade in front of me showing me all these things it's my job to yield myself to his direction and see where it goes. I remember telling God many times in previous years that I wanted to work in the trenches where the real stuff was.  Now I really had no idea what I was talking about.  To remember myself saying those things I realize I was naïve, like the young soldier that wants to taste battle and yet has no idea what he's going to see or experience.  Now I feel kind of stupid like a little kid green behind the ears.  But in all honesty I'd rather go with God on this journey than go without Him.  I figure I might have another 35 or 40 years to work and I don't want to waste anymore than I already have.  I never  bothered to follow God's leading so I think it's past about time.