December 2, 2013;

First day on my new job.....weird.  I have more education than anyone there and to me that's weird.  The building has been refurbished from an old mortuary.  The people are very nice, they were very welcoming and open.  It's my first opportunity for clinician work and I really need it.  But I miss my job in the mornings so I'll be glad to get back to my morning routine. 

Meanwhile the girls are having a hard time adjusting to my new schedule but they'll get used to it.  I'm lonely, probably more lonely than I was before.  I feel like I'm wandering in the wilderness alone so I have to remember God is with me every step of the way.  I've always combated my loneliness with busyness.  I would work myself into the ground just to stay busy and focused.  Focused so that I didn't slow down enough to realize I was lonely.  I've always been lonely to a certain extent sometimes more than others but I know this is a good thing for me to experience and learn.  I hope I can provide a positive service and leave behind good relations with the various agencies I will be in contact with.  I also hope to develop positive relationships with the people I work with they seem very nice.  The young girl training me has only been there since September and she tries so hard and remains very professional but she's very sweet. 

I was close to one person but it was only allowed when they wanted the closeness, when I needed closeness it was I was told to focus and look forward instead of behind.  You talk about a relationship that left a person wanting....that was no joke.  Lonely in a relationship is the worst feeling ever. 

God fills the need though and he will see me through the adjustment period and as the Word says He will give me the desires of my heart.