December 22, 2013;

This is the hardest and most rewarding Christmas I have ever experienced and I can honestly say that I never want another one like this again.  My youngest daughter is gone and although I'm dealing with it I'm still unable to talk about it.  All I can say with the highest authority is that Meth destroys families, not just individuals.  It takes a person and changes everything about them, their core beliefs, their priorities, their values, everything.  And...when children, and I mean young adults make decisions that they believe are their own, after all, it's their life not yours (whatever), they are selfish and near sighted to the point of complete blindness.  I can tell you that as I have grown I realize the mistakes I have made as a parent and how I have influenced certain behaviors.  I can also say that because of those shortcomings I am a much better grandmother and I have grown to realize how our every actions affect our children and grandchildren.  They need security and love, that means affection, time and consistency.  We have to love them enough to invest our attention and time on them.  I didn't always, I was a single parent working 10 hours a day and playing the piano at church.  Weekends were for yard work, house cleaning, laundry and cooking.  Sunday was for church.  I barely made enough to keep food on the table and clothes on their backs.  I didn't get food stamps, aide of any kind and little to no child support.  After all, he had a new wife and she wanted things.  None of that matters, they needed more time and attention, they really did. 

The good news is we can go to the cross and lay it before him.  He can take all of it and restore everything that was taken and lost and that is my hope, restoration.  Not just physical but mental, emotional and spiritual and not just for my children but for my grandchildren. 

Kenneth Copeland was speaking one time while I was working and he said we should thank God for all the little grandmothers who sit in their rocking chairs praying for their children and grandchildren.  Because without them many of the people sitting in the auditorium listening to his teaching would not be there.  Some would have been dead.  It's true it is our job to pray for our kids and grandkids, to stand in the gap, put them before God and wage spiritual warfare, on our couches, rocking chairs, recliners, and standing over the stove.  In my case it's at the computer and driving to work.  Sorry, I still work......probably because I still eat and so do they.