June 12, 1015

I run a support group in my hometown.  I enjoy the people and the time we spend together.  I think I get as much out of it as they do.  It's mostly women right now, who have gone through some very hard times in their lives and continue to try to handle them in a positive way.  Some of the burdens some of these women have carried their whole lives seem very heavy and I wonder how hard and lonely it all must have been for each of them.  I believe my part in the process is to empower them and point them to Jesus.  Hopefully, they will learn to have an intimate relationship with Him instead of trying to get what they'll never get and maybe shouldn't ask for from their significant others.  I don't really know what they should or shouldn't expect except that they should expect to be treated with dignity and respect.  They should be cared for and valued in their relationships unfortunately sometimes the other person has their own pain and burdens to bear and just aren't capable of giving what the other person needs.

I have learned that we can't expect a person to be anything other than what they are and we can't expect to get out of a person what they do not have to give.  But how do we know that they are not capable of giving it when they pretend to do it before we get married.  How long does a girl wait to find out that the giving and caring that the person portrays is genuine and can last a lifetime.  I think we think that what we see is actually what we are getting and yet life happens and if the foundation in an individual is not strong and there is no honor how do we know how they are going to react to whatever life throws?  I don't think we do....   How do we know that a person is going to become an alcoholic or drug addict unless we have them fill out a family history form.  And don't forget to check their credit rating and criminal records.  And even then they may still crumble.  Life happens and then the test of what they are made of appears....and then what?

I don't have any of those answers.  I used to joke around that if I ever did any counseling I would keep divorce packets in my bottom drawer to hand out because I sure wasn't going to want to listen to two adults whine and complain about the other.  Either compromise, get on your knees and pray, put up with the abuse or leave.  Either way I don't want to hear about it because more than likely the only reason you want me to listen to you is so that I will convince the other person that they are to blame and how they shouldn't treat you like that.  Please!!! I'm so not interested.

However, I love to empower women to seek God learn to lean on Him, seek intimacy with Him, learn who you are and refuse to accept blame for things that are outside your realm of influence and control.  Be free and independent, be secure and courageous and know God loves you in a powerful way.  Those are the things I can teach.  I hope I teach them to my own daughters, I hope I have taught those things to every young woman who has come into my life.  I hope I get the opportunity to speak to many women and encourage them to soar like eagles.