June 25, 2015

I'm exhausted but that's okay. Being welcomed into another person's life and into their confidence is a privilege and is not to be taken lightly.  I have always enjoyed every relationship with another person that I have experienced.  Even those relationships that ended for whatever reasons I have appreciated.  I'm learning in my group meetings that you have to invest yourself in the other person whether or not they stay in the group isn't important, they are important and how they are doing is important.  When I watch people go through hard times it bothers me even though they are asking advice or they need support I worry about them.  I want the best for them in their lives.  But....there are some situations that are very serious.  They are not to be trifled with.  Anytime another person talks about suicide it's serious.  If they choose to talk about ending their life it can't be ignored.  You don't know how fast a person can go from depression or anger to suicidal.  They can talk about it for months and do nothing or they can talk about it for months and do it.  They can talk about it and make an attempt immediately you just don't know.  Research shows that when someone attempts suicide that statistically they are the best candidates to try it again and possibly continue to try until they get it right.  Someone may never talk about it but they're having a hard time and then you come home and they've taken a bottle of pills or they've used a gun. It's so unpredictable and volatile that second guessing the individual shows no wisdom.  People tend to play it down because they don't want to believe it or they can't grasp the seriousness of the situation.  I've seen it go south very quickly and I've seen it pan out to nothing just as fast.  The problem is when it does go south quickly and you wish you had done something or taken the person seriously.  Then it's too late.  It's never worth gambling the odds, its always better to stay on the safe side.

I knew a mental health worker who went on a call for a man, he was depressed and threatened to commit suicide.  They advise in the training to talk to the individual and see if you can diffuse the situation without placement.  The problem with that is when someone is with the person they can be persuaded to calm down and not do something as long as that person is there.  Sometimes they will tell you whatever you want to hear to get you to leave.  She talked him down, she left and she did her follow ups, everything seemed fine........and then he committed suicide.  Once a person goes there mentally and is thinking suicide they are generally in the middle of serious depression, anxiety, hopelessness and confusion.  One talk would never be enough, it took a while for that person to get to that state it's going to take some work for that person to be mentally healthy and stable.

There were times when the person didn't even say they wanted to commit suicide but because of the level of depression and hopelessness they were at I placed them.  I know that we want to play down peoples mental health, we may call it drama or say they are a cry baby, or they're whiny.   It doesn't matter it's serious..and it's serious enough for a psych evaluation and follow up with some therapy.  They may only need short term but they need it.