June 20, 2015

One of the most important things we need to learn in our lives is the appreciation for ourselves. Well maybe there are two most important things......and to live in our personal freedom.  I don't mean the kind of freedom that we enjoy in America I mean as individuals or just as humans.  The kind of freedom that brings the ability to make choices, fulfill dreams, and enjoy our lives in peace.  I think as women we forget that we have that choice.  Many times growing up we think we have to get married, we have to look for prince charming and settle down and when we do we have to make compromises.  I want women to know its not true, that whatever it is that they want to do whether its to stay home with the kids or have a career be single or not the choice is theirs.  In whatever choice is made you have the choice to be treated with dignity and respect at all times.  We were always taught to treat people the way we want to be treated but its not just that, we get to expect to be treated the way we want to be treated.  And if we're not then we get to make the choices we need to make to live in peace free of abuse whether its mental, emotional or physical.  And finally we get to decide if how we are being treated is actually abuse we don't need someone else's stamp of approval to allow us to do what we need to do live in our peace.

We have a right to wake up everyday breathe in and out plan our day and go about our lives without fear of intimidation, suspicion, guilt, verbal or physical abuse.  And we have the right to take the appropriate measures to accomplish this feat of living in peace.  Many times I hear people say they stay in relationships because of the kids, thinking they are doing their children a favor by providing them with an atmosphere of anxiety and fear in the failed attempt to maintain a two parent home. For some reason they think the kids are deaf and blind and they don't see what goes on.  But I propose that they are actually witnesses that are held in a hostage situation.  They are the true victims of their parents insanity.  I submit that parents don't stay because of the children but they stay because they are afraid themselves and of the unknown.

Not only is understanding our freedom important so that we learn what we don't want to live with but it's important because we need to explore the possibilities, the what ifs, the "what do I wanna be when I grow up" question.  What was I put here for, what do I want to spend my time doing.  And maybe we could begin by taking the roof off of our expectations and dream higher.  We need freedom and space and definitely support to examine all of these ideas.  This kind of thinking takes fertile ground  that is nurtured and valued.

Just something to consider.