January 14, 2013

Well it's the middle of January and my middle daughter usually has a meltdown right about now.  She seems to be hanging on but we've had to make a mental health appointment.  I got a call at 3:30 in the morning from her telling me the lights were going off and on, the heater was going off and on and she was hearing voices.  Then she said she felt a weight on her body that wouldn't allow her to get up out of bed.  The thing of it is during periods when a schizophrenic decides they don't need their meds and they stop taking them, they start experiencing events such as the ones I just described.  Now the next thing you would think that you would do is ask her if she's taking her medications, however they always answer "yes".  No, they're not.  So then they start self medicating since many people with mental disorders also have addiction issues, they enjoy the high from particular drugs that can be prescribed to them by psychiatrists that apparently do not know (I don't think that's it) or do not care.  Addictive medications like Xanex, klonopin in which the person can experience a high similar to heroin where they lose track of time and take more and then take more and so the cycle goes until they are overdosing.  The problem is when they are taking these drugs they are getting high, however, they are still going to experience the hallucinations until they take enough, which will eventually kill them.  Luckily, she has a good psychiatrist who refused to prescribed the Klonopin or the Xanex for these reasons. 

So here we are, her good friend is giving her Xanex since she has lied to him and said she needs them, wrong.  Luckily I live in a very small town and I am well acquainted with all of her friends and dealers actually, so I placed a text and now she has an appointment with mental health.  The part about being a mom of a schizophrenic is you learn to be very sneaky.  It isn't to be nosey or underhanded it's to keep her alive.  So you do things like count pills in bottles, you find out real quick how many she should have and how many she isn't taking.  Then you check phones, you don't really care about some of the stuff and I have seen some stuff, but you do care about who the last dealer was who made contact.  Or possibly an ongoing problem with  boyfriend that has sent her into a tailspin.

Schizophrenics are liars.  They lie about almost everything when they are out of compliance with their mental health care.  Bills, medications, work, everything, they lie, and steal, yes they steal.  Money from your purse, your medications if you take them, bank cards.  They do this when they are manic or again out of compliance or rather noncompliant.  And they are permiscuous very permiscuous with many people, sometimes in one night.  We are not there yet, when shes get to that point her daughter comes home to me.  Then I know we are very close to the ambulance ride and that's only if she refuses to go to a mental health appointment.  Which in this town is hard to get, usually two weeks out.  The Psychiatrist is only here on Wednesdays and booked solid.  Good luck in an emergency.

Now I'm sure you think wow, this mom's totally out of line.  Well, that depends, my daughter has a fulltime job that she keeps, she has her own apartment and lives an independent life.  But sometimes it becomes necessary for detective work when she shows signs of slipping.  The first sign is a lack of hygiene.  Hair being washed, clothes disarrayed, eyes not quite as clear, sleeping alot.  This is the very beginning of the downward roll.  Then it's the other things, the pills, lying, stealing etc.  I want her to keep her independence and her privacy, I don't share the information I get not even with her I just make the necessary adjustments to avert an all out manic tailspin to the mental hospital for days.